Date: Tue 11 Jul 2000 09:46:38

From: Wrosenberg@ucsun.edu

To: Psnyder@afterlife.com

1. What time is it: Time for you to be finding better things to do, young lady.

2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: Wilhelm Karl Snyder.

3. Nicknames: None you’re allowed to use.

4. Parent's names: Hans and Matilda Snyder.

5: Number of birthday candles you blew out on your cake last year: I was dead last year. Last one celebrated, 51.

6. Date that you regularly blow them out: Hard to breathe when you’re dead.

7. Pets: Ferret. Vicious little bastard, ungrateful and nasty. I call her Buffy.

8. Height: 5’7”

9. Eye color: brown

10. Hair Color: No hair..

11. Piercings: You are DEEPLY sick for asking this question.

12. Tattoos: None.

13. How much do you love your job (1 to 10): Manipulating children’s lives, squashing their dreams? A definite 10.

14. Birthplace: Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

15. Hometown: Formerly Sunnydale.

16. Current Residence: Hell. Why I’m here I have no idea. With the shit I put up with they should have had an expressway for me straight to the Pearly Gates.

17. Been in love before? Love’s a crock. Fear’s the way to go.

18. Been to Africa? I have better things to do with my time than gallivanting about some continent full of death, disease, and sand, thanks.

19. Been toilet-papering? Never in my life.

20. Been toilet papered? And if I ever catch them --

21. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? No, but I’ve hated someone enough it made me laugh. Same difference.

22. Been in a car crash? Yeah. Damn Summers.

23. Croutons or Bacon Bits: Croutons.

24. 2 Door, 4 Doors on a car: The more doors, the more mischief. Two.

25. Coffee or Coffee Ice cream: Coffee. Good, solid, American drink.

26. Blanket or Stuffed Animal: I’m hardly five.

27. Dumper or Dumpee: What does this refer to?

28. Salad Dressing: Vinegar.

29. Color of socks: Black.

30. Number: Zero. As in, the number students get when they blow a test.

31. Place to be kissed: Come near me with those lips and I’ll have your head.

32. Movies: The Faculty. Except for the unhappy ending.

33. Quote from a movie: “Life Stinks.”

34. Favorite Holiday: Labor Day. Because soon it means I’ll once again be in charge of nurturing a bright young crop of students and teaching them that the world sucks.

35. Favorite Foods: Candy bars.

36. Day of the Week: Monday.

37. Song at the moment: Theme from “Shaft.”

38. TV show: World’s Wildest Police Chases.

39. Toothpaste: Pepsodent.

40. Restaurant: Anything with live lobsters.

41. Flower: Hate flowers. Nothing but hayfever-inducing weeds.

42. Least Favorite thing: Buffy Summers.

43. Sport to Watch: Ultimate Fighting. I love watching some guy get the living shit kicked out of him. Puts me in a better mood to start the school day.

44. Fast Food Restaurant: Right. Like I’d be seen at a restaurant with any of you hooligans.

45. When was your last hospital visit?: Don’t trust hospitals. All they want to do is take your blood and your money.

46. Favorite drink?: Water.

47. What color is your bedroom's carpet? Orange shag.

48. How many times did you fail your Permit and/or Drivers License test? Never did.

49. What do you think of Ouija boards? Bring one into my school and you’ll find out.

51. Who is the last person that you got mail from before this one? My mother, a few weeks ago.

52. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? None of your damn business.

53. Which single store would you choose to max your credit card?

54. What do you do most often when you are bored? Find a student to torture.

55. What words or phrases do you overuse?: I seem to say the words, “You’re suspended” an awful lot. But how could you ever overuse a phrase like that?

56. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away: I have no friends and like it that way.

57. Most annoying thing is: Students that don’t know when to keep their place, Hideously dismembered corpses. And also smoking.

58. Best thing: Expelling Buffy Summers.

59. Bedtime: 9 PM. Every night.

60. Where did you go to High School: Like I’m going to give you little thugs an in at my yearbook picture.

61. Anything else you care to share? Sharing is too touchy and feely. No thanks.

Woo hoo! More!
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