February's Winners

First Place

Angel: Anyway, after deliberating long and hard, I've decided that I'm ready to go into the light. Please stake me now and put me out of my misery.
Female Oracle: But we have a plan for you. What brought this on?
Angel: Ever since I saw Buffy with Riley, I've felt inadequate and unwanted. I mean, by God, he's much more handsome and worthy than I.
Male Oracle: He certainly lacks your bulgy eyes and brooding skills. In fact, he's quite the opposite of you.
Female Oracle: And even more noticeably, no pesky happiness clause - a girl does like to be truly happy and satisfied.
Doyle's voice (from the end of the tunnel): Angel man, and powers that be, you guys hit the nail on the head. I've seen that boy and he's even more attractive than you plus any blind person can see that they're soulmates. And hey, he's got better hair and more than one color in his wardrobe.
Angel (shamefully): I know, I know. I can't bear to live with that knowledge anymore.
Male Oracle: Hand me a stake, Martha.


Second Place

Male Oracle: I do not understand why this is our concern.
Angel: But, how am I supposed to fit in and defend them when this makes me stand out so badly?
Female Oracle: Didn't the music group Digital Underground describe a dance that was supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion, and you had it down if you appeared to be in pain?
Male Oracle: Ah yes! "This is my dance, y'all, Humpty-Hump's my name..."
Angel: Um....
Female Oracle: See? Once again, you bother us needlessly! Be on your way now....
Angel: Um....


Third Place (a four-way tie!)

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the head lamp of a fast approaching train.

~Julie the Meadow Lurk

"Look if you want a sure answer, Dial a Psychic."

~Daniel Vega

Hair gel? Third aisle, top right hand side.


"Sorry, but even we don't know how to stop FOX." ~Daniel Vega

Special Award for Kicking Me In The Butt *g*

Male Oracle: It is not for you to know.
Angel {brooding and pouting}: But she hasn't updated the site in weeks!
Female Oracle: All things come with time...
Male Oracle: Robyn will return...
Female Oracle: But it is not for you to know when...

~Jeanie the Tortoise-Fly

It Appealed To My Ego

Female Oracle: You say that a fan has morphed into a... Sixty foot rabbit?
Male Oracle: This is not our concern.
Angel: But... It was a Bronzer!
Female Oracle: Even so.
(Flash of light, Angel goes flying backwards, lands on his @$$ under the Post Office.)
Angel: I hate it when they do that.


If Only It Were So...

Angel: "Oh, don't mind me. I just gotta through that light and get Doyle back on the show."
Female Oracle: "It's about time! We were wondering how long it'd take you to figure that out."
Doyle: (from the hallway) "It's about damn time, man!"


Honorable Mention

"Excuse me, which way to the little boy's room?"

~Louis Thompson

"Oh, look. You're all shiny and...shiny. I can't look at women...I have to mope."

~Jane, the Frog on the Wall

I'm serious, I really think you should change your image. After Bicentential Man, the metallic look isn't mysterious, it's just... tacky.


I need your help to find another color to wear besides black.


Male Oracle: "I'm sorry, no brooding is permitted in heaven."
Female Oracle: (brightly) "But feel free to check it at the door!"


PTB: No, I'm sorry, we can't send you back in time just because you forgot to send Buffy a Valentine.
Angel: Oh ... pleeeaasse!

~Joel the Peppermint Whale

Male Oracle: "Look, when you have your Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, and little dog too, then we'll talk."
Angel: "B-But.... How am I supposed to find Xander, Wesley, and Oz before the world ends??"


Female Oracle: "Well, what offering did you bring me?"
Angel: "It's a movie, actually.... I don't know if you've heard of it, it's called Monty Python and the Holy Grail...."


"Well what do you know? It is unzipped!"


Female Oracle: No? You don't think the black toga look is in this year?
Angel: Sorry.
Male Oracle: Well, maybe we should start changing with the times...


Angel: Oh Wow! A crossover! When do I meet Hercules and Xena?

~Phantom Dennis

Female Oracle: It *never* fails!
Male Oracle: Just when you get in the shower...
Female Oracle: Ding dong, Moron Calling!


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